Air force

Folks...dont think that i gonna join in Indian Airforce or something.That states my state of mind and body these days.My bike is my life.I am persuaded by myself to write this post.The foremost reason because of why I am staying on roads is poor terms with my family.I dont even have nodding terms now.They ,at last,gave up and left me on my own.I am both happy and sad.Happy that ,they left me atlast.Sad that ,after so much of struggle.Now I dont have to worry to think about what my mom thinks if I go out somewhere to have a cup of coffee or some smoke, late nights.

As Ani says....chai,cigarette and zindagi.Bas.Thats more than enough.I find it more comfortable to lay back in a cafe ,killing time seeing the ray of hopes and dreams of people who come there 2 blow out some cigarettes and inhale some more dreams.I would seriously consider the option of setting down as a wanderer and writer.

it was on last saturday when I bunked my college with one of my cousin who is down to India from Newzealand.That was the day when I actually lived after many days Sandy left our habitat.Weather was really awesome on that day and having a cup of Irani chai with a beautiful conversation.Wow...!!

I stopped reading,I gave up writing,the worst part,it is.Just imagine in which state I am,that its been ages since i glanced at newspaper.I hardly know now ,whats going on round the borders.All I am doing is taking Facebook quizzes and counting the number of scraps in orkut.Sandy was right.I am turning into a lousy bastard.2009 had been one of toughest years for me and I bet,even 2010 gonna be.

Even at this point of time,I am sticking my ass 2 my chair in front of desktop to post this one!

Even money.I am sorry to say this,it was me who said "freedom" stands first ahead of money and pardon,I am admitting this thing. I am severely running out of money these days.I used to proudly anounce the fact(used to be, not now) that ' I write for my self' and 'I think of no one while I am writing'. But each and every second,while I am writing this,two persons are popping in my brain.Sandy and Aditya.Sorry mates,I took both of you as my inspirations in living without getting influenced by flow of cash,but at this point of time,ALL I NEED IS MONEY.Ask me and I will let u know how bad, it appeals to you if some junior of you buys you a cigarette knowing your situation,silently,you accept it!

I wanna get drunk up to the core(lekin paise kaun detha hain? tera baap?) and actually re-live my self for the past one and half year.Because,I couldnt,in the way I thought I have to.I thought of reading a lot,writing a lot.I thought of making necessary adjustments to live my life ,the way Ashok lives his.Folks....Ashok cant be copied ,he can be just imitated!

I am waiting eagerly to finish off this 4 year crap and to move on,at least to some other place of my own,where I can go home without coining a mint into my throat to supress the odour of classic milds!

Bulla ki jaana main kaun ! !

A little one for you guys.Counldnt make any more than this especially on this topic!
Watched 'baba' movie today.'Talaiva' Rajinikanth.It got me thinking.As if,appearing so desperate to know about his own whereabouts.I mean who am I?Why did I come to this place?Whats the cause of my life?Whats the cause for my life?etc.He behaves like a nomad in that movie.really,it got me thinking
Deep,somewhere,in your heart,some or the other time,you might have thought about this.You didnt?Then I cant do nothing.A man who doesnt think about himself,does not think at all.I pity all those lousy bastards who are too busy to think about their own selves.
Everyone of us have got our childhood fantasies,for sure.Rofl....!!Because thats the age when we think free(To know more about thinking free,refer to one of my older posts,'Free thinking')We dreamt of becoming or someone.But now,we have got nothing to do with it.
Am I destined to struggle with capacitors all my life? Sirish destined to deal with micro or nano chips?whatever? Is Sandy meant to be working on machines all his life?I dont know about the other two people,whether they enjoy doing such things ,but honestly,I dont.
Heard about 'Catcher in the Rye' a lot these days.Guy,wandering through the streets of 'Newyork' for couple of days.May be.He can.He might have.I always find 'philosophy' to be fascinating .Beautiful quote.'When do you gonna study yourself when you're still busy studying volumes of the cones and ancient history.Gud one.Isnt it?After all,we have all got a purpose.
GET IT DONE

Sex and stuff ! !

Do u ever think of something happening unconsciously with you.Happened to you but neva thought about it .Right.Its about sex and stuff this time.Ever experienced thing.Wait.Lemme tell ye guys.You are in a social place.A herd of opposite sex is standing and chattering among themselves.As a lightening,some one of them,u get struck.You dont know why?If u r a man after all,they are women afterall.You find urself searching for that person ,the whole event.Eventually.u find something interesting.Thats,even he/she starts looking at you.Not exactly.But exchanging looks shyly.
Hve u ever thought this one?Out of 10 people,why only she/he?Any special reason?Any unavoidable circumstance?
To admit honestly,I never believe in course of true love.even though ,you feel great about ur lover's character lately,the first time you have seen him/her,u get attracted only by looks and alll.Not in all cases.may be 90%.I hopefully guess,Its all aboutphysical thing basically.
And Sex.Its a sin.What you have read is right.Its a sin in this country of obstinate orthodoxicism.What do you say,if lovers involve in it,Nature's act and if a whore,its a business.Its all about the way you take it.I stress.Its perspective again.
What makes you feel attracted towards your opposite sex and feel seduced by 'em?Why are u in desperate need of an embrace? Lust.Finally,I opened up.I wrote to the core.Never mind,who gonna read this and who cares if they think what the hell this paranoia affected guy is speaking about?
Come on.Its fact after all.Every one knows it and nobody wanna talk about it.An open secret. Rofl..........'A secret is too hot to keep'....one of my glorious bastards said this a feww hours ago.Kya bey saley? Pad raha ho na?

MOVE ON GUYS ! !

Two years

So disgustng,I should have felt when I literally screwed up my exam.But surprisingly,I didnt.How a dumb nerd I used to be till a couple of years ago?I allowed people to throw nerd jokes on me and had never felt so bad when they were doing so .Infact ,I used to find myself happy with that kind of nerdy attitude.I dont know what the recluse change of time that I got involved with lots of people who chenged the dimensions of my outlook.
Alcohol.Cigarettes.These are those things 'you own end up owning you'.I dont have to balme anyone.I am sound of my mind and I perfectly know what I am going through.But the worst part is regretting it.
Past couple of years meant a lot to me.Been through a lot of diffrent images who consciouly know their cause.The purpose.I stopped physical exertionI banned day dreaming,to confess honestly,used to be my best part.Struggling with useless tiny things ,very difficult to hold even.They call them as resistors,capacitors etc.
This post has got no essence.Its just got my presence.Always struggling to say away from phoney people.they never understand.This post has got no pattern.Even me.But I like it.I am going wherever it takes me.
They find flicks of Madhur Bhandarkar more beautiful than Anurag Kashyap's.I like Anurag Kashyap.He captures imaginary-beautiful-inner-me,for tha sake,we may not feel good by seeing his collection.But Madhur Bhandarkar,screw him.Such a waste of him.Even,you can flick 'em by moving aimlessly on roads og King koti.
Happened to read an interesting conversation between Ashok and Aishwarya both arguing for Amitabh bachchan and Shah rukh Khan respectively.here I mean respectively.Such a waste of time arguing for Shah rukh Khan.Sorry Aishwarya.
AMITABH BACHCHAN ZINDABAD ! ! !

Dirty Harry

It is the place of heathenism and superstitious rites.Yes,it is ur world!For me,the only hope to spend many days between inglorious bastards is to see this 'glorious bastard'.Dirty Harry.Sandeep.Hey sandy,everytime ,you have taken me off the guard.But this time,its my turn mate.
If its Brad pitt v/s Johnny Depp,its brad for me and depp for him.If its Guy Ricthie v/s Tarantino,its Guy ritchie for me and Tarantino for him.But if its Snatch v/s Fight club.Its for both of us.Yeah,I used to be a dumb nerd till a couple of years ago but this bastard literally changed the way I see this world!
Here comes, taste and perspective.Both are different.Taste may change from time to time but the perspective,it never change.of course,Your perspective is You literally!This ,I've learnt from dirty harry.Life with Sandy had been something like beautiful passing cloud as if Anurag Kashyap protrays it in Dev D . Inhale.....Swallow......hiss.....hmm.Life's been fast wiht him.Very fast as if something like its in "Requiem for a dream." But that was cocaine.This is Dirty Harry.
Guys,remember Javier Bardem in "No country in old men"?Fella fed up with heck kinda people .dong what he wants and just moving on with his life,i m sorry,moving on with his gun eh? This is sounding like I am just comparing him with many characters I've watched in cinema.....but I MEAN IT.
Crushing his so called 'little soldiers of death' with helpless rage but never regrets it.Best part of him,that is. 'Paul Newman' in 'cool hand luke'
Always been in some sort of ambiguity whether 'Am I blessed or cursed with him'?I dont exactly remember for what he had gone for with Ashok.But I finally found myself that "I AM BLESSED WITH HIM".....

The Alchemist v/s Will

Had been into this confusion ever since I read 'the alchemist'.Destiny v/s will power.The alchemist strongly believes that 'if you really dream of achieving something,the whole universe conspires to achieve it'.He believes in 'omens'.The signs.He acts according to the God's will.Even in 'Godfather',Don Corleone believes that every man has one destiny.An artiste cannot become a mafia man,he supposed.This one completely contradicts with Adi dassler's statement-'Impossible is nothing'.But personally,I found it very hard against my conscience.At the end of the day,I should lay down in my couch with my heart contented with the work I had done that particular day.
What if I am destined to become something when I dreamt of becoming something else?Should I convince myself that this is what I meant to beor Should I fight with destiny with the help of my will to become what I wanna?
Dont know!

FREE THINKING

The output current from terminal drives the way of........This was what going on 'electronics' class when I was thinking of 'free thinking'.In my sense,its all shit.What the heck would I do with transistors and resistors in my life?Watched 'Wake up Sid' yesterday.Liked it for just one reason.Sid could clearly say that he's not interested in office ,job and all..
Coming to free thinking,I always owed great respect to free thinkers(infact great thinkers).As far as I know,free thinking means ,if some thought arises in our mind,a normal person puts a check to it after going to a certain extent,but some one like Sree Sree,would see the limits we never expect to exist even!Of course,he is no more.Few are Vivekenanda,Einstein,J.K.Rowling....amny more people.
I admire J.K.Rowling even though I ahte Harry Potter(sorry for being so harsh,harry potter fans!),because she just instills confidence and free thinking in children who doesnt know the limits of practical applicability.IGNORANCE IS BLISS.For adults,who come across Harry Potter,it sounds silly for them to fly just sitting on a broomstick,but,you know what,for children,it says that they can do anything they wish.Thats terrific feeling of splendour.
One of the fields that got and getting a lot of backing by free thinking is 'technology'.Might be people in 19th century would never have imagined they would speak to their loved ones lively(or) they would reach a far destiny within matter of hours.But free thinkers Davinci thought.I would like to discuss one interesting incident that happened with Davinci at his time.He just thought and believed stronglythat even man would fly like birds in the sky someday and he even sketched some imaginary vehicle carrying people through the sky.His friends laughed at his thought.But what had happened in 1904?The first aeroplane took off the green fields in northern America between the amazement and thunderous applause of white skins.
Thoughts are powerful.And if something 'free' adds to it,it becomes unstoppable literally.But the sad part is every person is capable of thinking so,but seldom know it.
I overheard somebody saying something worthy about Sree Sree.He just used to immerse in his thoughts,smoking by just sitting at his home and jotting his thoughts on paper.those were 'free thoughts' which hardly knew any limits.I would buy them for money if at all,those pieces are available,unlike downloading stuff from web(stealing infact.....lol)
Even music.Thinking has got its place in it.Many artistes say that they connect with the Almighty through music.I dont know whether its ture with all the musicians but beautiful music comes out when one thinkfreely leaving behind all the barriers.That one's for sure!
THINK FREE ! !