Thursday, January 14, 2010

Air force

Folks...dont think that i gonna join in Indian Airforce or something.That states my state of mind and body these days.My bike is my life.I am persuaded by myself to write this post.The foremost reason because of why I am staying on roads is poor terms with my family.I dont even have nodding terms now.They ,at last,gave up and left me on my own.I am both happy and sad.Happy that ,they left me atlast.Sad that ,after so much of struggle.Now I dont have to worry to think about what my mom thinks if I go out somewhere to have a cup of coffee or some smoke, late nights.
As Ani says....chai,cigarette and zindagi.Bas.Thats more than enough.I find it more comfortable to lay back in a cafe ,killing time seeing the ray of hopes and dreams of people who come there 2 blow out some cigarettes and inhale some more dreams.I would seriously consider the option of setting down as a wanderer and writer.
it was on last saturday when I bunked my college with one of my cousin who is down to India from Newzealand.That was the day when I actually lived after many days Sandy left our habitat.Weather was really awesome on that day and having a cup of Irani chai with a beautiful conversation.Wow...!!
I stopped reading,I gave up writing,the worst part,it is.Just imagine in which state I am,that its been ages since i glanced at newspaper.I hardly know now ,whats going on round the borders.All I am doing is taking Facebook quizzes and counting the number of scraps in orkut.Sandy was right.I am turning into a lousy bastard.2009 had been one of toughest years for me and I bet,even 2010 gonna be.
Even at this point of time,I am sticking my ass 2 my chair in front of desktop to post this one!
Even money.I am sorry to say this,it was me who said "freedom" stands first ahead of money and pardon,I am admitting this thing. I am severely running out of money these days.I used to proudly anounce the fact(used to be, not now) that ' I write for my self' and 'I think of no one while I am writing'. But each and every second,while I am writing this,two persons are popping in my brain.Sandy and Aditya.Sorry mates,I took both of you as my inspirations in living without getting influenced by flow of cash,but at this point of time,ALL I NEED IS MONEY.Ask me and I will let u know how bad, it appeals to you if some junior of you buys you a cigarette knowing your situation,silently,you accept it!
I wanna get drunk up to the core(lekin paise kaun detha hain? tera baap?) and actually re-live my self for the past one and half year.Because,I couldnt,in the way I thought I have to.I thought of reading a lot,writing a lot.I thought of making necessary adjustments to live my life ,the way Ashok lives his.Folks....Ashok cant be copied ,he can be just imitated!
I am waiting eagerly to finish off this 4 year crap and to move on,at least to some other place of my own,where I can go home without coining a mint into my throat to supress the odour of classic milds!