Sunday, June 16, 2013

That smile

Where do I belong when she refuses to take me in? Do I stand in the foyer, glancing all around to find a place to step in? Will I just walk my way out & disappear into the green alleys of a park nearby?

When the newly found adulation for post rock is echoing in my ears & quite oppositely, my white shirt refuses to attract any warmth within the cold walls of work place, I look around desperately for her warming look & assuring smile that I always fail in finding at.

The informed, the gifted and the revered are constantly trying to soothe me but her absence is too large for them to compensate.

I belong now to such a world where people pretend to be happy or perhaps, are they really? I walk with drooped shoulders & my hands disarmingly tucked into pockets, staring at unnoticed pebbles that decorate the path to cafeteria. I feel the pinning smiles of acquaintances on my back. I tilt my head to blow off those smiles but the oxides of carbon I blow out of my mouth only adds to the proliferation of those fake.

The left vertex of my lips slightly extends into its left which denotes a faint smile.

That smile, they think, is a response. That smile, I know, is a retaliation.

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