But its okay to be such!

Time like now has been quite often since a year. This year took me on an unexpected roller coaster ride which I think I managed very well in spite being unprepared. Its just 2 days away to enter the 13th year of the millennium. This year is all set to drain away into history. I term 2012 as 'the year of destruction & resurrection.'

They now say I am a changed man. They say now that I have become more calculative, less dreamy, more commercial & much foresight-ish. All these things visited my thoughts as well; way before they did others'.

The biggest realization that occurred to me is that Its totally okay to be flawed. Yes, I do stuff which is kind of  not parliamentary & which conflicts the sense of social being. In some ways, I am a retro, pretty old fashioned & sometimes way behind the wire. But I realized that its okay to be that way.

The 'unsettled urge to write' lagged in the race competing against 'being a routine employee'. Stone face replaced genuine portrayal of emotions. This does some time feel like I am living the alter - Deekshith's life but Its okay for a while.

Its okay to confess the errors; after all - 'to err is human'. Its totally okay to let go people who intend to & to welcome who wish to come in. You stay there all the while; they come in; few stay; few leave.

Fights are those priceless lessons taught at the cost of anger, distress, disappointment and self agitated agony. Every time a miscalculation happens, there's a new formula learnt which would be applied always thereafter to stay more precise; hence minimizing the possibilities to err in the similar way, next time.

This piece may sound purely preaching & philosophical sorts but that is what 2012 has done to me. This is just one of those late friday afternoons when you just hurl yourself back to desk, grab the scribbling pad & start writing. Not because you're suddenly inspired but because of that compelling force inside you that probes you to look back at the year that has been outstanding in its own ways!



Happy 2013 

The year 2012

This year, my blog has seen a lot on entries in form of posts.That implies there have been many inspirations to jot down; and that implies this year has been remarkable in its own way. Lot new friendships whilst some old ones faded away into history; this year gifted me with a job; car, a little wealth & a lot of hope for much outstanding times ahead.

Where was I exactly a year ago Just went into a 'lively' relationship, came back to India with hardly any guarantee for the future; with prickling debts & insomnia inducing insecurities. All I did was to take a ground; strong, solid and unperturbed. The best thing I displayed is the stubbornness to stay out there in the middle; determined to stay there without perishing in front of fat's intense irony. The year 2012 will stand apart as the year of true grit, filled with clenched fists & tight held teeth to grit it out.

Lots of fights & fears; misunderstandings & miseries; all have been inseparable constituents of the year 2012. A year filled with life.

I sit back while jotting this down on a lazy monday, wondering how things changed. There are very few people I owe to; who stood by filling themselves with faith in me. Its her & my brother. A lot has already been told about her in many instances & nothing more needs to be written again. My mother tells me the tales of my absence at my home and the way Dheeraj took the charge in my guard. The way he fought for me, believing in me that I am capable enough to put a check to foul mouths has been incredible & unparalleled. Brother, I owe you something! All this could have been palpably impossible without you Nitya. I strongly believe that this one sentence says it all.

Priorities have changed  but I am the same old heart-felt guy you guys ever knew. Look through me.

Happy new year, way too in advance!