Some words to say.

These words definitely belong to that set of audacious words which are to be expelled out to relieve the 100 pound or something weight pounding me into the darks unknown. The fear creeps in everytime I think about this piece of action and reaction going solemnly within. The unknown and abrupt rush of hatred and the abnormal yet not weird sense of crawling away from people keeps coming back to me so often these days. No cell phone, seldom necessary calls to home to ensure 'em that I am alive and absolutely no tweeting happening( doesn't really mean 'tweeting over the biggest thing on the web').

The unidentified sense of black, deep and shallow incompleteness is what that my mind got occupied with. I stare away into the deep yet, within-the-city woods which peep into my brain once a day and it seems like they are calling me to fulfil my quest of subtlety. What all do I need? Absolutely, soul soothing cinema, music and of course, limited people with sleep inducing conversations. I got to know the answer for my insomniac state of being where I lay down yet it takes some 300 minutes for the Goddess of serenity to shower the sprinkles of sleep upon me. That happens each night with so much of reluctance and after waging opinion crisis, stammering over unspoken words in the semi conscious condition.

And I wake up to find myself raffled by one other day of so many those days of discontent and some contempt in my voice trying to appeal for content. Alcohol is the only inducing agent, which sings lullabies to me, provided i am fed with currency full of wallet.

Ain't that going to work in the long run too, I know.

And those uncanny sarcastic likings from few people adds to the fire and I mull over those trivial things again and again. 22nd of this month passed and landed me in the 22nd year of my life.

I hoped for the same contented feeling but the answer seems to be evitable and not so easy thing to achieve.

The possibility of getting close to the milestone of making people comfortably convinced over the fact that I finished the education looks to far away, even beyond the horizons and everything appears dark.

But the brightest thought I can ever get is Black is something ecstasic and surreal and that keeps me to my bed and to wage anothet battle against the climax of one more tiring day to get up to find myself doing the same thing I've been doing from so long that I could not remember, how long this all started ago.

The respite i needed seems like arriving as i write this post, only respite, not relief, to be clarified.