Evolution

I am quire sure that giraffes never had such a long neck since their inception. The struggle to keep up the pace in the race to live, made them to peep that one 'extra' inch more and more to reach out those far blossomed leaves. All the trodden plants down there at the bottom went into bellies of tiny specie of life. Neck was stretched, stretched and stretched more as as the offsprings began showing up, with long long and more longer necks, as what now we notice as. That impeccable need to swim through the waters of life was & is never questionable, which also left no options available, but only with to, grow, grow and grow more.

And what not, does this tends to acquire wholeness if not talked about this writer's race of life? Humans. Yes, the very thought of evolution of human being whose brain took more than 2,000 years to get enlightened with the fact that animals fear fire and the very gnawling thought to strike fire which scared wild and helped them play safe is something really splendid to recuperate again. Sex,it is. The thought is.

And now people become billionaires earning on those pieces of cloth which we were not aware of, some grand years earlier. And I remember a quote by some billionaire Warren Buffet, though irrelevant to the context, my pen tempts to throw up the quote here, " Wall Street is the only place where people come in Rolls Royce to seek advices from people who walk subways." From the basic wheel to some Royce which Rolls on wheels. Remarkable.

Whats so superlative about evolution? They very strike of evolution always ignites great minds to ooze out far more greater thoughts. To be honest, inventor of this so called 'the most tiny yet the most appealing weapon" PEN is more likely, to-be-notable than Shakespeare or whoever. Whats the point? Not pen alone, though.

From those raw days of frowning foreheads in bewilderment of what basically 'sound' is to move nations with sound of six strings tied together. And yes from hunting to conspiring. From hierarchy to democracy. From 'I preach you follow' to 'I preach you preach'. Few of dark spots too. Everything has a dark side, after all.

Well, not an anthropologist I am and so I can not think of evolution in a better way than this. People insist I should write fiction, but this isn't the topic to sound fictional. Just wanted to give this text a go. I got it. After all, I am a go-getter.

Hail Frusciante. Happy birthday Bob! Long love Marley!

A Friend Indeed.

The image of my ridiculed face on 'that' day still pops in into my introspective mind once in a while, when I usually lay down on my couch, wondering what if even a big joint of marijuana fails in singing dark and forbidden lullabies to put me to sleep.

I was standing there bewildered with my landlord's pinning words that shot us and ousted us from that mansion abruptly. I stood there in the parking lot, smoking the last cigarette I had, no money to buy one more. He came silently from behind, patted me gently on my shoulder and smiled and shared the remaining cigarette. I knew that he knew what was doing rounds in my brain then. I was wholly broke and was on roads literally. No job, new land, no money. But there was lot of self respect that abandoned me from asking my dad, some money. Then the phone rang, was my dad asking, " Is everything okay nana?" "Absolutely Pappa. A little busy. Will ring you later" was my reply.

I hung up and this fellow and this fellow then came into my life by protruding an upper hand then and it still goes on. He drew out some 100 Euros or Pounds or whatever from the Barclays hole in the wall and tucked it in my hand. Befallen by hunger and ambiguity all around, I had to accept those bucks.

It all started there with him. The to-be-together journey. He was always there for me. The only lad who makes Londone a crappier place for me to live in, with his absence. There was another day, one of those days when I was trying hard to digest the fact that She abandoned me, I cried like a little boy after getting sloshed away by alcohol. I was close to death and he dragged me back home from a dark bar.

He always wants me to be independent but made me feel conveniently dependent on him when things didn't work out the way they has to, so far.

Well, you guys may call this a tribute to him, I'd rather say that this is a way of reciprocating for what all he did for me.

Well, his parents named him Chaitanya, I'd prefer 'the friend indeed'.

P.S : I received my first birthday gift already frm this bastard.

God bless!

Wise Mice

A deep drag (long awaited since morning) after a huge meal justifies the word 'completion'. As I open out the passive door of my flat to blow out few deep drags which get mixed with the late night fog sums up big and hits the cool wind out there to win a losing battle.

I sit there consciously on the the three legged dining chair and light up a stick to strike out one more day off the new decade's calendar, two mice sprout up all of a sudden from the trash can just like balls in the pinball. The mortal and never outgrown fear of reptiles take me back but they yell at me saying 'Easy, boy!' and I ease myself.

This follows later.

Mouse 1 (M1) : Hello little boy.

Me : Huh, Little? me?

Mouse 2 (M2) : My friend seldom lies. Yes you are. Very much.

Me : Well, Hi.

M2 : Welcome to the kingdom where sun never sets. Sorry. Late wishes though.

Me : Approaching 5 month stone and a welcome piece now? Thanks, anyway.

M1 : Be careful chum! Its all dark here, not as it appears.

M2 : You seems to be innocent. Need to be extra careful.

Me : Ahem! By now, I know this place sucks because of its colour obsession. Though its dark, it hates darks.

M1 : Interesting observation, that is.

Me : Thats experience , what we humans name it as.

M2 : We call it as survival.

M1 : Some call it retrospection.

Me : Whatever. You both look white. Are you guys Brits?

M1 : To be honest, we don't mind being white. We'd be fed with same food and liberty even if we are coloured. Know that?

Me : That's awesome. You guys follow constitution eh? *winks*

M2 : Well, we framed one. You humans are too smart and wicked to follow.

Me : That's the whole essence then. Supremacy in the race of survival.

M1 : Aren't we surviving?

Me : Yes, you are.

M2 : With equality, to be taken note of.

M1 : You people have big brains dude.

Me : Big enough to lead the race of survival.

M1 : Well, If I am not wrong, I notice a glimpse of pride as you admit that.

Me : Emerging victorious is a proud thing. Isn't it?

M1 : Yuddham lo gelavadam ante shatruvu ni champadam kaadu, odinchadam.

(J A L S A)

M2 : Don't stab existence.

M1 : Live humanely and justify 'Human'

Me : Will try to. Later, guys.

Mice : Later, man.

Possessions, Her and Random things.

Fells homely to visit this page after a long while. In fact, it induces a sense of ownership to view a .com based on my name, nevertheless. Life has become devoid. Devoid of cinema, music, writings, nothing. Sometimes, it looks good to be plain. May be some umpteen times, I dream of June to occur, everyday. But, June too shall pass,I know. It brings along with it July and more which shall bring me back in UK. Well, the latest learning is it's difficult to meet self terms and far too difficult to live on selves.

One typical day include 1 convinced-to-be-called meal, some 5 sticks, 2 pints, many to-be-materialised day dreams. Well,of course, this sense of self seems great, the inner you wear is what you bought out with your own bucks. No context of dad comes anywhere. The food you(I) eat , the music machine that decorates your pocket, this paper and pen you write on & with, everything your own, very much.

You look at your laptop's box out the above fireplace and you find your name imbibed colourlessly on it ans you feel,I bought it.

Not alone about the things you earn, but the way you look after everything, a plain pulav prepared by you with no topping tastes gr9, the app you develop on your machine with one night being forgone too looks splendid, yet simple and plain to any third person.

Had been hearing some really happy news about little significant achievements by my peers,lately. Seems much's been happening around out there in my absence. It is like immaculately horning out some soundless noises which nobody cares to mind apparently. It is absolute fun to be an enthusiastic viewer when life turns round all by itself and it appears like chips started falling in place, where they are intended to, but not destined to.

Due to lack of regular intercourse with paper, I am now completely unsure where this is heading towards(Random things in my title justify that). Back into the context, its real juicy encountering destiny. I know people who find it uber cool to quote that absolute bullshit, destiny is. But more funnier part is, their that quoting is also a part of their destinies. How ironic and funny?

I more sound like an anti raged and middle aged citizen. Absence of going places makes you one. (doesn't literally convey 'going' places) Never mind. So, lots been happening around and so I turn up there as any other stranger would do, some 6 months later and they wear that 'you dont know question marks' on their faces, which definitely uneases me.

Now She's gone and my crave for her still refuses to fade out into dark reminiscences of past. What's so magical about her? I know bullying around girls for quite a long time, never serious as a matter of fact to be noted, but this time I am pad enough, enough to be saturated with her and no longer eager to visit strip clubs to buy a couple of drinks and fuck some white whore. Ain't it no fun anymore.

I am said to be a plain bastard by somebody and yes, I write plain. Peace out.

Words

had been in a class today which told us more about emotional control and critical thinking. I was consciously gazing at 4 corners of the room waiting for the clock to strike 1.00 pm so that I could make my way back home.

It got back to me now. After four hours. To make your way out of people disturbing their clan with smooth but firm waves isn't a cheesy deal I say. You gotta have that emotional balance, not emotional control as emphasized. And one more thing, one just made me earn a very valuable pebble that adds to my bag half of them. Words are really priceless. Just don't scatter them everywhere possible. If you really want to rejoice, plug in you pod, light up a stick and jot down something if you really care about doing. Silence is solitude,everytime, I take back my word of saying it is,only when it's wine time but not, it's always, its anytime. Just smile when you feel like poking somebody and within a couple of minutes , what not? you feel like you've done a good thing I say. People were not mad men saying that.

I regret wasting my words recently. Shouldn't have done that and I admit it now, next time you come back to me, you'll find a whole new me. The effortless action of a human being is watching something, thinking of communism at the same time and smiling no matter what.

As said by Tyler Durden," We are the bye products of life style obsession" and social networking is a piece of cake of it too .

This thing, emotional balance comes with one spark ignited by a strong driving force from behind kicking on it's ass so as to meet the point. That may be a person, that may be from within too. I see Sandeep gorrepati, keeps smiling and keeps thinking about something that appears foolish to reality. I see Rajeev sarathi, soberness personified and he floats in the eternal theories on Buddhism. That appeared stupid to me and folks, you aren't wrong. That thing of staying dreadfully serene at times keeps you balanced emotionally and what not,you won't lose words.

What more is a quality time, you sit with your old peers after an year or so over few bottles of whiskey, slowly pushing down the liquid and sucking in the ambience thoroughly along with those Indian made sticks and you all smile seeing faces of each others for few obvious accidents happened and the third person would never know and there you live your lives.

Talk less. Live more.

turn on, plug in stuff and die in peace.

okay now! As I gulp down a large dose of winter beer, suck in a large volume of Mayfair and cut the call made to Ashok,I sit down to write this. To be honest, Ashok didn't disappoint me. He was successful in proving himself as anti social and susceptible to vice.

And to Shikhara,my love, I was always brutally honest to you but spare me this time,ain't I. I intimated you this as my signing off note but this isn't. In fact, it's a signing on piece. Alcohol had always been kind to me and I expect it to be too, in the coming future,if at all my bad pair of lungs wouldn't burst out the smoke.

I am pretty aware of the fact that people exist with limitless amount of intellect oozing out of their pens but being a human,I too possess that unhealthy obsession of giving anything that 'one' another try. I know a bunch of wannabes trying to be someone else losing out all their lives and I wish to tell them only one thing said by Kirk Hammett of Metallica. Forever trust in who we are and Nothing else matters. Reading Chetan Bhagat would never turn you into an asshole as long as you keep laughing at his works but as soon as you start seriously desire to become Syan or something there starts the collapse eventually.

This always comes back to me. To pour myself onto a piece of paper. I just don't know and don't want to too why I feel like writing only when I am high. It's again instinct. I believe in instinct rather than in intuition. Just like having faith in Tendulkar rather than in Dravid which is fragile and fugitive but what can one do? Sachin has become God and this had become a habit for me. Helpless and better if left untouched.

Each time I place a pint glass infront of me, I strictly warn myself of staying away from pen. Later, I slowly gave that up as I thought that is the only time when I can actually be myself without shrugging in disgust to meet others' demands. Turning out into a sensible chap from a reckless asshole is basically a lot of thought process articulated and stretches out its hand for more foregoes for which one would be ever ready. That is one valuable and costly lesson I've learnt so far on this West front.

As I keep ressing return button n this mini key board I am losing the so far slutch from on this post and I strongly know that this post is going to be a fucked up one never mind! Oops ! hold on! Nothing else matters!

Plug in your music machine and keep listening to metallica getting ready to face your final avert with so much of solitude in your face so that it scares the hell out of the final foe and be ready to rest in peace.

In the mean while I have a conversation left in debt with Ashok would finish it and yea the last two pints of beer too and I would join you along in the chorus of "Aaaand Nothing else Matters."

Advent of riegn

written on : 22-09-2010

Here I am, in Delhi's International airport ready to take my flight to one of the world's busiest airports which open the doors out into a city which is enriched with bulks of cultural exchange over decades. London.

Somewhere around 7 months ago, I was busy celebrating my birthday ,which is presumably my last in India for the few of the coming years. I didn't knew that it would be last one by that time. Then things took rapid and steep curves ,too rapid and too steeper that they went out of my control, left me as a silent spectator pondering with some bewilderment .

Earlier,I used to have an idea of how events would unfold in the following one week at least.That clarity always helped me to stay out of ambiguity. As said,"Clarity precedes success." But its 11.20 am now and I am not sure what would be this big time loser doing in a city that never sleeps once a millennium if destined to. Wandering aimlessly among the streets of London,with mouth of jaws being dropped half of the time,because of astonishment of the monumental creations and wondering when creators in sub continent would work such an astonishing builds some day. Never thought,education would make such a difference.

Noodlewok, Switch,blah blah...are the names of bake shoppes and juice outlets in the airport.I just feel so bland and left out of feelings to articulate. What exactly makes you feel so strangely numb? Change of place? Change of skin tone? Change of linguistic flavours? Cultural exchange?(never scared about cultural exchange as we had that experience at Lemon tea trillions of times). And now ,I notice this 'always self conscious bastard' wearing all the shirts that could fit his wardrobe at a time to want people to wonder about the count.

One of my glorious bastards said," along with the liberty ,comes the responsibility." Yes. they both do go hand in hand. Look at me. I have money. I have time. I have no people offending me from doing what they call anti social activities. Still I don't feel like doing them. Some thing is holding my back tight.

Till I figure out what it is, Good Bye for now!